I read a chilling line in a costs decision recently...
"Second, I cannot help but make the sad observation that between them, the parties managed to incur legal costs that exceed their combined net worth when they separated more than seven years ago. Emotion won. How sad"
It's always good to have legal counsel - always... but there are rules to live by to help manage those costs :
Listen to counsel. If they are telling you it's an uphill fight on an issue, or simply not winnable ... for the love of all things great, listen to them. Don't have the hubris to know more than them.
Watch for indicators that your lawyer is serving you, as opposed to serving the firm. They should be talking you down from just as many fights if not more than the ones you want to engage in. If you are not getting feedback at times that go against what you want to hear... maybe they are not serving your best interests. Andrew Feldstein (separation.ca) at Feldstein Family Law is particularly good at picking and choosing which fights are worth fighting.
Do not have family or people who are emotionally close to you weigh in on your materials or legal strategy. Keep people on "Team You" by your side for emotional support, not legal support.
If you can have someone knowledgeable in Family Law, that can act objectively, tell you when you are doing good, and tell you when you are acting like an entitled nut job, that can work cooperatively between you and counsel... they are golden and can help save you a ton of money if they are good and you heed their advice.
If you have a chance to settle at the cost of $5-%10k. Do it. Even if it's completely unfair. You have to approach it as if it's a spread sheet - fighting $5k could cost you $50k. Winning the $5k at the expense of $50k is NOT winning.
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