Can Family Testify For You?

You may be tempted to have family (like your parents) testify on your behalf at trial (or for a motion). Be careful, more often than not this will backfire.

It's extremely important for grandparents to be able to demonstrate a supportive position for both parents and not attack the other parent while trying to place a halo on their own's child's head. Testify on events sure, say positive things about both parents sure, just don't go "bashing" the other parent.

I have never seen a decision where a grandparent, bashing the other parent, resulted in a win. I have seen cases where one set of grandparents were supportive while the other was critical of the opposing party and the side with the supportive grandparents "win".

In a recent decision this was demonstrated succinctly...

[195] The paternal grandmother’s involvement in Melanie’s care is also problematic for the court given the court’s findings regarding the paternal grandmother’s opinions of and behaviour towards the mother. These concerns are heightened by the father’s belief that his rights in relation to Melanie somehow include his mother and her rights. The court cannot count the number of times the father gave evidence about “our rights”, “our concerns”, “our needs” and what the mother has done “to us”.

[196] I am concerned that the paternal grandmother will continue to have a negative impact on the parents’ relationship with each other which may eventually have a negative impact on Melanie as she gets older.

[197] While both parents are able to meet Melanie’s instrumental physical needs with assistance from their mothers, I find that the mother is better able to meet Melanie’s emotional and psychological needs. I am very concerned that the father will not be able to shield Melanie from his mother’s negative views of her mother. Conversely, the court has no cause for concern regarding the maternal grandmother and her views of the father. She said nothing about the father that was mean spirited or vindictive and when asked if she would attend a party at the paternal family’s home if invited, without hesitation the maternal grandmother said, “yes”.

This also demonstrated your perception of "rights" of a parent will also backfire. Always steer clear of the phrase "my right"... it speaks to entitlement and the misconception that parents have rights. They don't. The children are the ones with rights to being entrusted to good parents, not the other way around of a parent having rights to their children.

So, before you put your parents or family members on the stand; make sure they can demonstrate support for coparenting efforts or you are going to regret it.